For the last year and a half or so, I've been on this self-discovery track. I've had a lot of classes that have made me think about what I believe, about God, about life, about people, about relationships, about myself, everything. In trying to figure myself out, I've completely centered on just me and forgotten God, and forgotten other people. It's been so empty. I've been plenty happy. But it hasn't been that deep, saturating, covering kind of joy. It hasn't coated every part of me. It's only coated the outside parts--everything but my heart and soul. And so it's been a really empty joy, and I feel it now.

I've been going to church pretty regularly, but I've only been "going through the motions", as they say. I didn't enjoy the music, I didn't pay any attention to the sermons, I brushed it all off as fake and empty, because that's how I felt. Last Sunday in church, though, for the first time in a long time, I felt different. Things and people became real again, not these empty outlines I'd considered them as for so long. And today in church, not only did I enjoy the music for the first time in forever, but, prompted by Pastor Johnny's reminder of "Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you," I moved a few steps back toward God. I knelt down at His altar, right at His feet, and turned my life back over to Him. And I feel whole. I'm ready to jump back into His race, the one that focuses on loving other people a LOT.

This winter of my faith is ending and I'm rewelcoming the spring. :)

-Stephanie

When the music fades
And all is stripped away
And I simply come
Longing just to bring
Something that's of worth
That will bless your heart

I'll bring you more than a song
For a song in itself
Is not what you have required
You search much deeper withing
Through the way things appear
You're looking into my heart

I'm coming back to the heart of worship
And it's all about you
It's all about you, Jesus
I'm sorry, Lord, for the thing I've made it
When it's all about you
It's all about you, Jesus

King of endless worth
No one could express
How much you deserve
Though I'm weak and poor,
All I have is Yours,
Every single breath

I'll bring You more than a song
For a song in itself
Is not what You have required
You search much deeper within
Through the way things appear
You're looking into my heart

I'm coming back to the heart of worship
And it's all about You
It's all about You, Jesus
I'm sorry, Lord, for the thing I've made it
When it's all about You
It's all about You, Jesus

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