Dear God,

So I'm really wishing you were here to answer some questions again. Why are you always so quiet? Why do you keep your mouth shut? Why don't you make yourself obvious? Why is my church so wrong? Why did you have to shake everything up again today? Why can't I trust my family's opinions anymore? Why isn't that good enough? How am I ever going to explain? What do you think you're doing, ruining my well-protected foundation? What do you think you're doing, letting me be yanked out of my sheltered background and slamming decision about my faith in my face again? I wanted to leave today. Did you see that? Did you hear that? I wanted to LEAVE and I didn't because I thought you were going to teach me something. But no, I have to thrash out all the chaff before I get to the wheat again. God, why do you bother putting the grain so far out of sight below all that chaff? Why didn't you make decision-making and faith-making easier on me? Why'd you put me in a sheltered environment to begin with? That, and why are you now pulling me out of it? I LIKED being sheltered, all right?! I liked it when decisions and faith were matters of course. I liked it when what my grandparents said made sense. I am NOT liking this "enlightening", "eye-opening" experience. Why did you put me in Amanda's class? What are you trying to teach me with this? Why am I so mad at you right now? Why is the world so screwed up? Why do I feel like swearing so much lately? What's my problem? What's your problem? What's the deal? WHERE AM I GOING IN LIFE? And why, tell me, why aren't YOU here to guide me like you said you would be. That's all I want to know.

Me.

previous || next

Miss Something?

Social Anxiety with Guys - February 07, 2024

Education Expo with an ADHD Kid - February 03, 2024

Lovely Church Experience - October 22, 2023

Seek Out Community in Christ - August 29, 2023

Grieving Lost Friendships - May 08, 2023