I know I already posted today... But I can't get these thoughts out of my head.

This...is a little scary to post. Because to me it seems like gibberish--and I wrote it. Anyway. It feels...a little like I'm exposing my soul, which is a semi-scary feeling and kind of a big act of trust. Oh... And it reminds me of me ex and how he used to talk, which is also scary. But...here goes.

Where did the dark confusion of la nuit return from? What murky depths has this sea monster of crisis arisen out of? Why doesn't the light of glory deshadow it? When I followed the yellow bricks of gold road to Your throne, Jesus, why was I clothed in the sea monster's likeness? I resembled him and blended in with the oceanic terrain like he did. You cleaned me off, Father, but little green pieces of seaweed are clinging to me again. Soon enough they'll grow and cover my eyes, blinding me for good.

Were there little diamonds tangled in my murky clothing? What flashes of brilliance did you see in my filthy nature that drew me to you? That compelled you to draw me to yourself? You see me far better than I could ever see myself.

I will never understand Your all-covering love. The way you see through our dirt-covered bodies. You must have some crazy x-ray vision if you can perceive our potential through the lead vests we inhibit ourselves with.

Whatever that means. I have certainly become one confused individual in the last week or so.

-Stephanie

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