Work.

I've worked at Domino's for three summers in a row now, and I have never felt so attacked for my mistakes as I do at this place. One of the assistant managers just has this way of pointing out things I do wrong that rubs me SO MUCH the wrong way! I don't know what her problem is. She won't even tell me straight up when I screw up sometimes. Instead, she tells my manager the story with me right next to her. Like I'm invisible. Like it isn't hurting my feelings.

And I know to some degree I have to buck up. I've had to buck up every summer I've worked at Domino's and not take remarks/corrections so personally. But this girl makes it personal and I can't figure out what her problem is that she would want to do that. She's been like this to me from day one. It makes me so angry I can't concentrate. I can't let it out 'cause that'd get my little butt fired, so I keep it in and try to shove it down, and I end up breaking down into these anguished tears like I did today.

I didn't mean to break down in front of a carry-out customer... I feel bad for that. But Angie (manager) caught it quickly and we went to the back. But I still feel bad.

Angie says I'm expecting too much of myself. I know I do, but does it help to have Ashley (assistant manger) breathing down my neck and mocking me in front of our coworkers? No, it doesn't. I honestly don't know what her problem is. If I did, I'd be more okay. All I need is a reason, and then I can justify her actions to myself. But as long as they're unjustified, I can't accept them.

It would be great if Ashley could just attempt to make me laugh every once in a while. Or even a compliment. One little tiny compliment would make me feel better.

I've never hated work this much. I guess this is what Mom wanted me to learn by making me get a job every summer: how to work with people I can't get along with. So this summer'll be a lesson learned for me.

But right now, all I feel is that I REALLY REALLY don't want to go into work tomorrow and Saturday. But thank God I have Sunday off. Maybe letting out some energy dancing will help me feel better.

And it's payday tomorrow. Maybe I'll buy me a little something. Not the wisest way to go about making yourself feel better, LOL, but I don't always go buy myself something. Sometimes just driving somewhere helps too. Just getting away from home. I feel kind of trapped here, not knowing my way around town/being afraid of driving places. The big city is just a little intimidating. :S Just moving to a new city is a little intimidating! But after a while I think I'll be more okay with it.

Ryan, from school, is being awfully sweet to me. Every time I update my status (on Facebook) with something that sounds unhappy, he's concerned and e-mailing me about it. :) It's nice of him... He doesn't need to be quite so eager to comfort and help, LOL, but it is nice of him. I look forward to just getting to know him better this next school year.

One and a half months. One and a half months. I can make it. I can make it.

-Stephanie

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