I'm having a rough time of it.

I wonder if it's this birth control I'm on (in preparation for marriage) that makes me super-emotional or if it's the stress of everything. I think it's the birth control.

A week or so ago I started bawling for absolutely no reason as Stephen was leaving my house. I could hardly calm down enough so he could leave, and after he left I cried some more. This morning at about 4 a.m. (I haven't been sleeping very well the last two days) I started bawling because Steve's dad got offered a job three hours north of here and his family might be moving up there.

Don't even ask. I'm telling you, it's the birth control. What birth control does is makes your body think you're pregnant, right? And pregnant women cry all the time? That's what I'm blaming it on. My body thinks I'm pregnant.

Anyway, so I've had a very rough few days, and Stephen asked me not to tell him when I go on birth control, so I can't even tell him why I've been so insanely emotional.

I've been on B.C. for two and a half weeks now. You'd think my body would adjust already, but apparently it hasn't yet. Hopefully by the time the wedding comes, my hormones will be slightly more under control.

Oy. I don't even get to see Stephen today. I thought we might need to take a day off of each other. I still think it's a good idea, but I hate doing it.

Last night I was kind of depressed, which made Steve kind of depressed, which made me even more depressed, and so on, and it was just compounding itself and making us both miserable. So I suggested we take a day off to pull ourselves back together.

Steve's emotional quirks aren't nearly as bad as my ex's were, but still there nonetheless. I am a little worried about how we are going to overcome that. But generally Stephen does better than I do. I think the last few days have just been bad because he has been short on sleep--another good reason to take a break from each other. I know I keep him up way too late.

Allergies have also been killing me. It has just been a miserable week. I'm hoping God will step in and pull us together somehow.

-Stephanie

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