Recently I gave my diary's password to a new reader. Welcome to my life, Lobo21. :) Knowing somebody I don't know very well yet has my diary's password makes me nervous and I've been going back through my entries, wondering if there's anything I should delete. I don't think I will, though. I have been who I have been, I am who I am, and I am not who I was. I learn with every experience; I change with every entry.

It brought me back to my entries from my time with Nate, though. How fascinating, to re-experience that relationship through my entries here. I wrote so little about him here while we dated, but what I did write was so important in documenting the progress of our relationship. It sums our relationship up in a perfect little nutshell.

For Lobo, those entries are from 2004 onward. I imagine, with the way I write, you will have to go back and back and eventually just start from the beginning. I think on my past a lot. I revise it and edit it and philosophize on it and analyze it. And as you can guess I refer back a lot.

I write from the heart. I write from my emotions. I live from my heart. This is who I am, and that is unchangeable.

Life is so interesting. Who you are and who you were and who you become is so interesting. Humans change with every breath--how can we comprehend a God who never changes? Humans love conditionally--how can we comprehend a God who loves unconditionally? Humans act out of their experience--how can we comprehend a God who creates experience? Maybe there isn't an answer. Maybe there is only faith. Humans act and decide on reason and empiricism--how can we comprehend faith at all?

It's time for me to go...Sorry no conclusion. :)

-Stephanie

previous || next

Miss Something?

Social Anxiety with Guys - February 07, 2024

Education Expo with an ADHD Kid - February 03, 2024

Lovely Church Experience - October 22, 2023

Seek Out Community in Christ - August 29, 2023

Grieving Lost Friendships - May 08, 2023