I don't think I've actually talked extensively about our small group in here yet.

Stephen and I are part of a young marrieds small group at our church. We have been since we were about two months away from getting married. They are wonderful; we love them to death. Here's a little about them all.

Sara and Jason: They are the original leaders of the group. Sara was a culinary arts teacher in a high school; Jason is some kind of engineer. We met at their house every Monday night; Sara would make a main dish and we would bring side dishes and desserts and drinks. They got pregnant last April, and Sara is due in 5 days now. They won't be leading our group anymore, as they'll be taking care of their little one. So one of the other couples in the group has to lead, and for now, it's me and Stephen. (More about that later.) Sara is outgoing and extremely easy to get along with. She seems to be totally comfortable in who she is, which I love and hope to be more like. Jason is quiet, but also comfortable with himself. And despite being pretty logical guy, I think he has a healthy dose of sensitivity, too. I like him a lot too.

Rachel and Ethan: They're the couple we get along with best. They moved here from across the country back in April. Rachel works for an insurance company; Ethan is currently unemployed, like me. Rachel is a lot like me, although perhaps a bit more logical and organized. Ethan is...Ethan. He's outgoing and huge and has tons of energy. He loves to do outdoor stuff and loves friendly competition. He also loves to push people's buttons and play tricks on people--all in good fun. Having fun is Ethan's end-all goal, LOL. So he's entertaining, but I can tell he's insecure, which makes me feel kind of bad for him. He reminds me of my sister in a lot of ways.

Alyse and Robert: Probably our "foil" couple. Alyse is like me in all the ways I don't get along with, unfortunately. We can both be controlling and emotionally irrational. When we first joined the group, every evening we drove back from Sara and Jason's house, I spent venting about what she said that I didn't like and how she was SO such-and-such! I'm slowly learning to appreciate her for her better qualities, but she still rubs me the wrong way sometimes. Robert is very different than Alyse, which is probably why they got married. He's extremely quiet and thoughtful, and extremely smart, and very even-keel. Not much disturbs the guy. I have a lot of admiration for him. Alyse is an elementary school teacher and Robert has some kind of job working with computers that Stephen wishes he had. One last thing: Robert's father just passed away this week. He had been battling a brain tumor for years and it finally got the upper hand. We're trying to minister to them by bringing them meals and such. And lots and lots of prayer.

Hannah and Jordan: Kind of a forgettable couple, but perhaps that's because they haven't been at many of the small-group gatherings lately. What an interesting couple. Hannah is quiet, reserved, and very logical. Jordan is very outgoing, a class clown, and can be kind of unorthodox at times. They both work for an insurance company, but doing different things--I can't remember what. I liked Hannah right away because I'm quiet and reserved like her, and I liked Jordan because he made me laugh, but they are certainly the couple I've had the most difficult time relating to. As a couple, they are very hard to figure out. They do an expert job of hiding themselves, and I have no idea why.

That's all of us. A new couple has joined us, but I haven't known them long enough to give them "profiles." :)

So last month at the end of our last study, the group (I was gone) was discussing what to do next, as it was getting close to the time for Sara and Jason to have their baby. They threw ideas around until Stephen suggested replicating the study we had just completed in our Small Group Leadership Training Class. Apparently, they thought that was a good idea (I think they were just thankful someone was stepping up to the plate), and so Stephen and I (mostly Stephen) are leading the group in a study of Colossians. We started the 12th of January.

We would lead but didn't really want to host, so Alyse and Robert offered us their home. But then Robert's father passed away last Sunday. So we had to emergency-host last week. It was okay. We had to turbo-clean our apartment, buy a couple extra bowls to eat out of, and bring in all the seating we OWN (including two camping chairs, two computer chairs, and an exercise ball) to make room for our guests. It looks as though we're going to have to do that again, as Rachel claims her apartment is not suitable for guests at the moment.

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I saw Robert today when I delivered flowers and a card to them. Oy. That was hard. I've never seen a grieving man before, and from someone so self-contained usually.

I made a fool of myself, all awkwardness and embarrassment, but I believe God can use my gifts to speak what my mouth couldn't. I certainly hope so anyway.

Hm. "Certainly" hope so. I just went to a women's Bible study yesterday where we talked about Paul's use of the word "certain" in Philippians 1:6. So if I "certainly" hope for something, how does that relate to Hebrews 11:1--"Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see"? Does that mean I am certain of what I hope for?

Just a random question. I like Bible studies that stick with me like this... Hopefully this will be a good experience for me.

I can't think of anything more to say that wouldn't take up a whole other page. I'm still processing through seeing Robert and how I acted and what it all means and how I can learn how to relate to grieving people better in the future. :/ "I can't believe he was almost crying..." keeps paring itself up with "I have no idea what I'm doing," like they're blood brothers that won't be separated or something.

URGH. Enough worrying.

-Stephanie

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