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"I've come to worship; I've come to lift up Your name, for You deserve this life laid down, like the one that You gave. I have but one voice--one heart and one sacrifice. So would You take this life laid down and be glorified."

This song from church has been going through my head. I even found myself singing it aloud in the house. This is an unusually significant thing, as one of my biggest complaints about the church Stephen and I have been attending since we got engaged has been the music. It's also significant because music IS the way I worship God. When I sing (church songs especially), I feel myself drawing nearer to God. About the only thing that makes me feel closer to God than music is helping other people understand something. As I wrote about in my last blog, I've been fighting to recover my faith after a fall into agnosticism. During that time, singing to God was one of the first things that went.

So I am glad to be singing again, and after my last blog entry, I thought I would write this as a follow-up. I want people to know that there is hope if they are going through a similar thing. I am piecing my relationship with God back together. I'm coming closer to Him. My ultimate goal is to be able to talk to Him like I did before college. I used to ramble on to Him just like a person, all the time, and I knew that He was listening. I knew that He loved to hear me talk. I used to run to Him and cry in His arms, and know he was there comforting me. Even after everything I've been through, I know that it wasn't a lie back then. I know I serve a God of love, and I know that part of love is holding me when I cry and listening to me when I talk. I had a sweet relationship with God. I want to get back there.

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