Can I just say I have been through a lot emotionally in the last 3 days. Wow.

Saturday night was super emotional as Stephen and I had a much-needed, open and honest conversation about what areas in our marriage roles we're falling a bit short. Wow, that was hard. I cried so much.

And then that same night, I logged on to Facebook and my sister was writing in blazing hot anger and not telling anybody what she was so angry about specifically, except that she hated people and wanted to come home. I tried to calm her down, but, well, her fire was hotter than my water. Afterward I was pretty messed up from not being able to help her, and Stephen had me talk out some of my deeper feelings about Sam, which was also extremely difficult but very good.

Sunday I was still sort of dealing with the aftermath of Sam's blazing anger. I learned somebody stole some very valuable things from her, and also her boyfriend broke up with her. We called her on the phone to offer any kind of love and help, but she didn't answer, so I texted and told her we're here for her, and she just texted me back "Thanks Stephie." But I was glad she wasn't so blazing angry again.

And then today... Well, I am still nursing this wound... Suffice to say that I felt another hole get punched in my heart as yet another friend moved ahead in life, leaving me behind. Steve and I are the only ones left not pregnant, and still not planning on getting pregnant anytime soon.

Then Stephen and I got into a really tough discussion about the glory of God. I can't even begin to tell it or else I'll get all tangled up and never heal, but he is finally beginning to understand why this is so difficult for me. And we're just going to continue the conversation another day NOT at midnight.

And tomorrow is Tuesday and I am going to HATE it. Tuesdays have been so incredibly difficult lately.

But I do have two pieces of good news. One, I had the root canal re-treatment finished on #30 and it went over really, really well. I still have to get a new crown on it, but I have been given permission to wait as much as a month for my poor tooth to calm down before they put it through more trauma. LOL. My poor mouth.

And the other piece of good news is that spring is coming. :) :) :) :) Today was the first springlike day we've had this year. Sun and rain traded off throughout the day, creating a few rainbows along the way. :) :) :) And the sunlight is even starting to look warmer!! It's not that coldpale, unloving, icy-blue light of winter anymore--gosh, I'm stoked! I can't wait to start seeing warm sunlight again on a more regular basis. :D :D :D

All this soul-baring, open and honest conversation, by the way, has come from the retreat we took with the Marriage Ministry Team. That was basically our theme. And boy. Is it a good one. A hard one. But a GOOD one. As in "God created openness and honesty, and saw that it was good." LOL. Boy, is it tough though! Open-heart surgery, as I call it. I forget who I got that from.

Anyway...Enough rambling from Stephanie tonight. Good night, everybody. :)

P.S. OH! Aaaaaaaaand, my birthday is this week! :)

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