Another mistake to add to the list. I seem to be making an awful lot of mistakes since I decided to stay with my boyfriend.

Girls--actually, this goes for anyone--if God tells you to do something, please just do it. Don't disobey and do what you want. Please just obey God; it makes life so much easier. I'm sorry I can't be a better example for you girls to follow! If you don't think my advice can be trusted, because of the mistakes I've made, I understand. I'm so sorry.

So, I decided to stay with my boyfriend. It's an insane, complicated story, and I DON'T feel like repeating it and reliving through it all.

We're so happy together still, but, since I decided to stay with him--even though he's committed his life completely to Christ now--temptation has been through the roof, and I haven't been resisting very well. And I think I've lost track of God temporarily....I have a feeling the only way I'll be able to find and follow Him again is if I break up with my boyfriend, once and for all. I don't like that idea.... Neither will he. But I'm praying he'll come to the same conclusion so it'll make it easier.

Oh, Father, hear me now. Please help me. I need Your strength more than anything else. I need to hear You again. I need to feel close to You again. I haven't given my whole self to You, though I said I did. I haven't broken up with him yet. That's the part of my life I'm holding back. I'm sorry, Jesus. Please forgive me. Help me give that to You as well.

Today's song:

Small Enough
Nichole Nordeman

Oh, great God, be small enough to hear me. now.

There were times when I was crying from the dark of Daniel's den,
And I have asked you once or twice if you would part the sea again--
But tonight I do not need a firey pillar in the sky.
Just wanna know You're gonna hold me if I start to cry.

Oh, great God, be small enough to hear me now.
Oh, great God, be close enough to feel You now.
(Oh, great God...Be close to me.)

There have been moments when I could not face Goliath on my own,
And, how could I forget, we've marched around our share of Jerichos.
But I will not be setting out a fleece for You tonight.
Just wanna know that everything'll be all right.

Oh, great God, be close enough to feel You now.

All praise and all the honor be
To the God of ancient mysteries,
Whose every sign and wonder
Turned the pages of our history.
But tonight, my heart is heavy, and I cannot keep from whispering this prayer:
"Are You there?"

And I know You could leave writing on the wall that's just for me,
Or send wisdom while I'm sleeping, like in Solomon's sweet dream.
But I don't need the strength of Samson, or a chariot in the end.
Just wanna know You still know how many hairs are on my head.

Oh, great God...
(Are you small enough?)
Be small enough to hear me now.

For anyone out there who would, please pray for me.

-Stephanie