Mike and Cami's questions from class:

• Who are all these people--the Jews, the Romans, the Christians? Do they overlap?
  
• What's the Holy Spirit?
  
• Have you always believed? Has it just been easy for you?
  
• So, if Jesus and God are the same--did God die on the Cross? Or how does that work?

"He seems to get it, but I'm still having trouble."
"It all just seems like a story right now." (Cami's words...Mike expressed a similar thought. He can slide into theoretical belief. Like, "So, say this was a true historical account." But he doesn't yet believe it's a true historical account; he's just trying to approach it as if it might be.)

A lot of their questions touch on deeper themes of the Bible that even mature Christians grapple with (e.g., the Trinity), and would take SO much extra explanation, which is why we can't address all their questions in class.

So what do you do with that? Do you address the deeper issues before they understand the basic ones? I suppose you could. Explaining the basics would hopefully just happen in conversations about the deeper parts of Christianity.

I just don't know if Stephen and I are the right people for this project.

Actually, I don't know if I am.

Part of me worries that they'll discover I'm a fraud.

I'm not really a fraud. I believe everything I've learned in the last 4 years with all my...head.

My heart still hasn't caught up to where it was 10 years ago.

That's the part I'm afraid to let them see.

But it isn't Christ I wrestle with. I do believe in Christ, that He is the Son of God, who died for me, somewhere, on a heart level. Even our premarital counselor got that out of me during his "interrogation." Some things you just can't root out.

It's all the beliefs surrounding Christ, the Son of God, who died for me, that my heart can't decide upon.

I just wish I knew what pieces to take from my Wesleyan upbringing into my new Reformed surroundings. I can't just divorce myself from them; they believed in Christ, too, just differently.

But was their faith a saving faith?

*sigh* And round and round I go.

-Stephanie

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