Earlier today I was feeling wholly overwhelmed by all the cleaning and packing I have to do before we leave tomorrow.

I arranged to meet with Heidi today, which at first I was stressing about, because I'm not always sure how to talk with her.

But the meeting turned out to be so wonderful.

I just learned that Heidi and Alex look up to us so much, which is just...amazing. I didn't know anybody would ever say that about me.

I made a call to our associate pastor, Peter, to see if he might be willing to do their wedding. I think I've decided I really like him. He's so easygoing.

Anyway, so I set up a meeting between Heidi, Alex, and Peter for Sunday, and I'm so sad I can't go with them, but they need things to fall into place quickly, so the sooner the better.

After we'd set that up, Peter said, "While I've got you on the phone, you indicated on your Christianity Explored survey that you'd like to sit in on another one? Would you like to do that as a trainee?"

And I said yes.

I actually decided that a couple weeks ago. That I would like to co-lead a class. Which freaks me out to say (RESPONSIBLITY! Eek!!), but also excites me! I really think I could do it.

So then after that was all figured out, I figured something else out as Heidi and I were hammering out wedding details. A week or so ago, when we went out shopping together, I was feeling bad because I'd made too many decisions for her. I e-mailed her and apologized and said I would back off.

But today, I realized...Heidi needs somebody to help her. From all reports, it doesn't sound like her mother is filling that role (my mom didn't help me a ton either--not that that's some terrible thing--but it's just helpful if you've got it), and I feel like I'm at a better place to help her anyway, because her mother lives an hour and a half or so away.

And I enjoy it. I really do. :) It's not even a vicarious, let-me-make-up-for-my-wedding enjoyment. It's flat out, plain and simple: Heidi needs my help, and I like her, and I can help her.

Anyway...So that was a wonderful meeting and I'm so upset that we're skipping town for so long (gone until the 31st :P ).

And I still have to figure out how to balance my desire to help her out and my desire to help her make her own decisions, but I think this is one of those day-at-a-time things. In fact, I think I ought to call her the 26th or maybe even the 23rd to ask how the meeting with Peter went. Follow-up is so important...

Anyway, so I'm feeling so very secure and loved and valued and appreciated, between Peter's being happy to hear I'm interested in co-leading a class and Heidi's genuine appreciation of my help.

And on top of that, my husband did the dishes over his lunch break while I was with Heidi so there is less for me to do.

I have a wonderful husband!

And what's even better: My life finally feels like I am going the right direction!! :D

-Stephanie

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