Interesting what thoughts have been going through my head in this last trimester. Part of me actually is starting to feel ready to meet my baby, which is *awesome.* Then the other part of me realizes that this is the last time my little guy will ever be this protected from the world, and this close to me. Definitely enough to make me cry!

But overall I am feeling joy and peace, which is totally great.... More than I hoped for at the beginning of this pregnancy! It used to drive me nuts when people would say, "Aren't you excited?!" because I wouldn't know how to answer. Even now I can't answer that with a resounding "YES!" like they seem to expect me to. Having a baby is exciting, sure, but it's also a huge responsibility, and a profound process. To think that God knits us together like this--and has since the beginning of time? What a crazy human experience to all have in common! There are some things that make me sit down in silent awe in front of God my king.

The bigger he gets inside me, the more I realize that a real baby is going to be at the end of this. He's putting on fat right now, so he's turning into that chubby cute thing we're all accustomed to seeing. :) It's making him seem more real in a human kind of way, so I'm also getting excited to meet him and for him to meet everybody.

One thing that made a surprising amount of difference to me in terms of emotional readiness was acquiring a CRIB and a MATCHING changing table!! For an jaw-droppingly good deal. Having them both just really sent it home to me, even though he won't be staying in it at first. I felt like I had something to prepare a permanent home for him.

Permanent homes are awfully important to me.

Now I've just mentally switched subjects and can't get back to baby... That's okay. I need to keep packing up anyway. Amazing how hard packing is! I so hate the thought of not being able to find stuff when I need it! Makes me a total nutcase in the actual packing process. MUST. LABEL. EVERYTHING. COMPREHENSIVELY. Oy. Maybe I should pray a little before I get into it again...

Until next time...

-Momma-to-be Stephanie

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