Whew. It was baby shower day today. It went pretty well. I think.

I'm writing this in here because I know most people would never understand why I freaked out so much about my own shower that I wasn't even in charge of. And I can't explain it unless I journal about it first and get my jumbled thoughts straightened out. So. That said. Here comes the emotional dumping!

1. I wish I could have thanked Michelle better than Heidi did for offering up her house. (Heidi had a special cookie made for her. That's it.)
2. I wish I would have written Heidi a card to thank her for putting on the shower, so I could more fully explain my gratitude for. I may still do that.
3. I wish I had known who all was coming. I think that would have helped me not freak out so much.
4. I wish I'd made enough frosting for the cupcakes! But they were so cute anyway.
5. I wish Heidi had more finesse with groups of people. Oh boy do I ever.

That last one was the biggest reason I freaked out. My #1 fear in a social gathering is awkwardness. I mean, there is nothing that makes me sicker with fear! So I do EVERYTHING IN MY POWER to give awkward a HUGE berth. And I usually do a pretty good job, I think.

Heidi.......doesn't.

She is hugely insecure, which makes a social gathering awkward, and even more so if she's the one in charge of it.

She did a FANTASTIC job on the decorations and the goodies, and apparently she even got Michelle to pitch in and make up a watermelon fruit bowl and veggie plates and crackers with spinach artichoke dip. She also did an amazing job with the gift she gave me. She wrapped it so cutely. Everything was in the colors that matched my nursery theme, which is totally totally cool! So she did so much right and I'm so proud of her for that.

Running the whole party, now.....

So I guess that was my biggest thing. The transitions were so, so, so incredibly awkward. And she consulted me on all the transitions. And also on how to tell people how to play the games. And also on when to get the food. And when to open the presents. And......I could go on. Just about anything that required directing, she consulted me, or Michelle, or anybody who could hear her.

And I know I'm pretty much the only person that that bothered so deeply. But I sooooooo wish that had been different. She should have taken care of the all the background stuff, and then delegated Michelle or Savannah or someone not afraid to take charge of a group of adults to direct the show, so to speak.

BUT. It still went really well, I think. People had a really good time--it seemed like everybody had somebody to talk to, and LOTS of people talked to me. I was a little bit terrified that it would end up like my wedding reception, where I was pretty much barred behind the table for the wedding party, and I didn't feel comfortable getting out from behind it to go talk to people, because everybody's eyes were on me and they'd all watch me. Ugh!! I hate being watched! :P The worst part of it was that nobody came to talk to ME. It was so devastatingly sad that I didn't talk to anybody but my husband and bridal party.

But this shower wasn't at all like that. Everybody talked to me, and it was wonderful. :) Even though it was absolutely exhausting, I am so happy that I have friends who were comfortable enough to get my attention and talk to me. Wonderful. :)

And I think that's all I will say for now. I can go into other details in another entry.

-Stephanie

previous || next

Miss Something?

Social Anxiety with Guys - February 07, 2024

Education Expo with an ADHD Kid - February 03, 2024

Lovely Church Experience - October 22, 2023

Seek Out Community in Christ - August 29, 2023

Grieving Lost Friendships - May 08, 2023