It's hard getting used to living in such a safe neighborhood after living in apartments for so long.

Grandma talked to us about opening the front blinds in the morning because her neighbors are used to that being a sign that she's okay. (Her neighbors have been looking out for her for years and years.) I'm not sure if she knows that from talking to them or if that's just an instinct. It felt a little like a slap in the face to me--but then I'm hypersensitive to anything that smells like criticism, especially when I'm still getting to know people. Ugh.

But it made me think about how I keep the blinds closed and how yeah, that must be kind of weird in a neighborhood like this. They'd probably think I was a terrorist or CIA agent or something.

Even when I was living in the house I grew up in, I remember always being afraid at night of the house getting broken into, or somebody peeping in the window at me as I walked out between the bathroom and my bedroom after my shower. Life's different when you grow up without a protector in the house--i.e. a dad.

Grandma's/our back yard backs up to a 55+ golf course. Her/our neighbors are all in their 50s-ish, except for one couple who is probably in their 30s or maybe early 40s. They have a bunch of small kids and a lot of friends with lots of small kids. We haven't really "met" the neighbors yet, which is probably also weird to them. I'm not really a "meet the neighbors" kind of person. Ideally instead of meeting everyone at a neighborhood barbecue or something, I'd rather meet the wives first, one at a time, and get to know them better individually, and then gradually open up to the men, also individually, until I am convinced that they are all truly okay people. Which takes a really long time, especially if they aren't (real) Christians.

That's not because I think nonChristians aren't worth getting to know or anything. I just know their priorities do not lie in the same place as mine, and that affects everything about a person. They have different hot buttons and some of those hot buttons may directly conflict with mine. For instance, we might have a neighbor who loves nothing more than to go off about how the immigrants are destroying our economy and we need to deport them all so we can go back to our "normal" lives. But I've spent the last 5 years loving the Mexican immigrants that were our neighbors in the best way I can despite language barriers. That sort of thing is why I need to take time to get to know people. If somebody comes at me out of left field with something like that, boy, I'd go off like a firecracker and say something I would really regret! :Z What a horrible way to start off relating to my new neighbors!

So anyway... I better go get myself ready for the day. It's early, but I've cut out today as my "fun" day so I can relax and chill out a little. I've been so wound up lately and I don't even want to talk about it because it'll get me wound up again. Organization. I need it. That is all. :)

-Stephanie

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