Notice: PG content.

Well... Hm. I got to a chapter today in Every Young Woman's Battle that really hit me. They all have hit me in some way, but this one had some stuff that jumped out... and I didn't like it very much.

A girl who had anorexia told her story about how her very thin body made her feel not only slender, but also powerfully seductive. It got me thinking... I realized I feel powerful over Nate. Like I mentioned in that entry...I think Nate would do anything I asked of him.

I looked in at myself as I read this book and seriously questioned for once why I still want to go out with him. What a scary question... Even scarier were the answers I came up with that I'm, sadly, trying to find a way around. :(

1. Security -- of having a boyfriend. Of having a boy--and a decent one!--care about me.
2. Power -- I have power over him. I kind of like the feeling.
3. Intimacy -- Any girl wants intimacy emotionally. I also tend to want it physically... :S
4. The sheer, sweet happiness that comes with dating relationships.

Hm... I should probably start praying more about him and I and this whole sticky situation. :P I've been slacking...

Later!

-Stephanie