Caution: PG content.

Well. That was an interesting chapter to read today. It was on Internet dating relationships...

It was confusing at first. They were talking about soley Internet-based dating relationships, which I have never taken part in (and never plan to take part in), and I thought they would be talking about just talking to someone online that you have never met, which I have done. So some of the things they said seemed way stricter than necessary, and I was offended. But then I realized that they meant cyber dating relationships and all that.

It still had some really good points! I thought so, anyway.

"Quotes from the book" and (my notes) and more notes.

"In an Internet relationship, you only see the good thing the other person wants you to see (You have time to say the right things. I know this.) through e-mails and instant messages. In real relationships with real people, you see the whole package--the good, the bad, and the ugly."

"Internet relationships can be misleading and harmful to your ability to form healthy relationships. It is hard for any real relationship to live up to the fantasy of a virtual relationship."

I didn't think of that. I need to not get so caught up in my online friends that I forget my "real" friends that I see in flesh and blood.

"In real relationships, you get a more complex, three-dimensional view as you watch how a guy interacts with his parents, how he treats his little sister, how he treats his friends as well as other girls. You need to see all of these things before you can make a fair judgment about a person's true character."

Ick... Definitely right.

Then they got to the reasons that girls get into online dating relationships. One of them that really applied to me was "I can be anyone I want to be while online." In IMs and e-mails I can put on a face--I can be a talkative, bubbly, outgoing and friendly person, and no one the wiser! Probably the number one comment I get from my online friends is, "You're shy? You don't seem shy to me." :) They'd be surprised to know that if they met me in person, I'd clam up and retreat inside my shell and you'd never crack me. (At least, not until I really got to know you better.) In IM I can think about what I want to say. I can hesitate, type, delete, and retype till my response sounds just right and it's no big deal. Face to face it's not that easy.

Then another reason was "I enjoy just conversing with a guy without having the expectation placed on me to get physical." At first I thought this didn't apply to me. I've never thought that thought in just those words. But then I read the explanation/warning following the reason, and it hit me really hard.

"You may not want to get physical with him now, but after you've poured out your heart to him and swallowed every line he's fed you, you are going to want to move beyond the emotional. Once you give him your heart, then the urge to meet him, be in his arms, feel his kiss, and so on can quickly lure you down the road toward sexual compromise."

It went along with something they had said in the first chapter of the book: "Once a girl gives a guy her heart, soul, and mind, her body soon follows."

I can see that happening to me way too easily. I give my heart away so easily. I don't know why, but I think it might have something to do with loneliness.

Which reminds me. I found an article in my grandma's magazine Today's Christian Woman that made me cry. It was about a woman, 32 years old, who still hadn't found the guy for her and felt the same way I do. All the pain, the longing, the questioning God. She spoke my heart. I might post the article in here later.

Anyway. This entry is getting really long, so I should wrap it up. (Luckily I'm almost done. :) )

The chapter ended with some really, really good stuff.

"Perhaps people who pursue virtual relationships have never tasted how good reality can be. When someone knows you inside and out, knows all your little quirks and annoying habits, knows everything about you there is to know, and yet is absolutely crazy about you, it's an awesome thing. Such genuine intimacy enhances your self-esteem, your life, and your happiness.

"There's Someone who already knows you that well and loves you that much. He knew you before you were even born. He knew about every mistake you'd ever make, every rebellious thought you'd ever have, and every sin you'd ever commit, yet He loves you so much that He chose to die for you.

"You don't have to wait until He signs on to His computer to get a message to Him. You don't have to keep checking e-mails to see if He sent you a message--there are plenty awaiting you in the Bible. And through prayer, you have unlimited, 24/7 instant messaging with God."

-Stephanie