Nyah. So I deleted that last entry. It's too humiliating to broadcast anyway. I hope VERY FEW saw it! :(

I am happy! Yesterday I went on AOL and I was just checking my e-mail and junk when Adrien signed on! I was like, Oh my goodness, she hasn't been on in FOREVER! I was so happy!! I knew she would IM me, too. :D

Sure enough, she IMed me and said, "Stephy! How are ya??"

We talked only a little bit, but she asked me, "What time is quiz practice?"

"5:00-7:00," I said, curious. "Why?"

"On Sunday?" she asked.

"Yeah...."

"I was thinking I might crash your party tomorrow. :D"

YAY!! I GET TO SEE HER AGAIN!!! Or, uh, we all get to see her again, heh heh... :DD

All right... So I'm more excited that I get to see her again, 'cause no one else really feels the same way about her. I mean, sure everyone loves her 'cause she is the coolest girl in the world, but-- Oh! I take that back! Brooke feels the same way I do. That's right. :) I remember learning that last March at my sleep over... Brooke told me I described it perfectly in one of my regular diary entries. I wish I had that to copy into here. It really was a very good description. I guess... I don't know! She's just cool. And Jesus shines right through her. I wish I could be like that.

Anyway. Wow, what got me going about her? Oh. Duhness. LOL.

There is SO nothing to write. How do people like Chantal and Becky do it??? Not to mention they also make their diaries interesting in the process. Sheesh.

I can't even get into Chantal's now, though. Stinky! :( She locked it without sending me the password or whatever to get in. I really don't blame her for that, though; I've never spoken to her/written her a note/e-mailed her. LOL, why should she? But it is disappointing.

Oh, crud. I just thought of something *interesting* that I could write. :::chest tightens::: But I try not to write about these things 'cause it hurts.

I think I mentioned a while ago that Justin is back? (Did I ever mention he was gone, I wonder?) Anyway, he is back, and things are complicated again. Why is it that all my convictions that it's ridiculous to be jealous fall to pieces when I see him--or rather, them--again?

Today in Sunday School, I saw him sitting a few rows ahead, and I wondered if Beth was next to him. I told myself happily, Even if she was next to him, I bet I wouldn't care! 'Cause, see, I've had this conviction while he's been gone that I won't be jealous anymore. (After everything that I've been through this summer with just Beth?? Definitely!)

But when I moved so the person in front of me's head wasn't in the way, I saw that, sure enough, she was right there beside him... And my mind went, Look how close they are to each other.

Whoa. Oh, how creepy! Just as I was writing that, a song that I've had stuck in my head rose to the surface. The main part of the lyrics' message is that everything we do and every way we act is just a fa�ade--a false covering. Have my convictions this whole summer been merely an emotional fa�ade? YUCK! That song--or rather, medley--creeped me out from the beginning, and now it's even worse. :P I reeeaaaalllly don't like that musical, and I've never seen it! But we are doing the music for choir.

Well, anyway. No more dark thoughts are allowed today. It's God's day.

-Stephanie

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