I'm thinking again. I love it. :) I live and breathe thinking.

In a recent conversation I made two God jokes. Two! That's highly unusual for me. I never make jokes about God--to me, He's always been too serious of a matter to dare joke about! And I made two jokes about Him.

So that's what got me thinking. Why had I made a joke about God? Here's my regular diary entry on it:

It's not that I think He's a joke. Nothing could be further from the truth! But it still felt kind of weird. Does God take jokes?

The fact that I was making them, though, showed that I'm growing more confident in either myself or God. I am beginning to feel that God can take jokes and I am becoming less terrified of offending Him. :) That happens as I get to know people better... So does that mean I'm getting to know God better?

If that's the case, I have to ask myself how that's coming about. Because I'm the one who has said, "How can we have a relationshipw with God?? He's intangible! Invisible! Inaudible!" So... If I'm not growing weaker in my faith, how am I growing stronger? It's not the church. I've ruled that out becuase I know the church isn't it. I read my Bible every so often, but not that often. And I pray just as much as I normally do... What's different?

Maybe it's that I'm THINKING more, thanks to Theology. That might be it. But there's somethign I'm missing... Theology is screwing up every answer, not giving me answers! So why, why do I believe more strongly in faith, in love, in hope? I'm baffled.

Maybe it's the very definition of faith. Faith is...believing in something even whent here is no proof or evidence.

All right, so my next question is, without proof or evidence, why on earth is there faith? Why does it exist? Faith...You got it...Faith does not make logical sense.

I'm sure it made sense to people before they started thinking (Dark Ages), but the truth is, the more you think and reason, the less sense faith makes. Do you get what I'm saying? Faith just doesn't make sense. And the fact that my faith is growing makes even less sense! : )

So I guess there isn't an answer. But I hope there is one.

Which, of course, doesn't make sense. :)

-Stephanie

As I went down in the river to pray
Studying about that good old way
And who shall wear the starry crown
Good Lord, show me the way!

O sisters let's go down,
Let's go down, come on down,
O sisters let's go down,
Down in the river to pray.

As I went down in the river to pray
Studying about that good old way
And who shall wear the robe and crown
Good Lord, show me the way!

O brothers let's go down,
Let's go down, come on down,
Come on brothers let's go down,
Down in the river to pray.

As I went down in the river to pray
Studying about that good old way
And who shall wear the starry crown
Good Lord, show me the way!

O fathers let's go down,
Let's go down, come on down,
O fathers let's go down,
Down in the river to pray.

As I went down in the river to pray
Studying about that good old way
And who shall wear the robe and crown
Good Lord, show me the way!

O mothers let's go down,
Let's go down, don't you want to go down,
Come on mothers let's go down,
Down in the river to pray.

As I went down in the river to pray
Studying about that good old way
And who shall wear the starry crown
Good Lord, show me the way!

O sinners let's go down,
Let's go down, come on down,
O sinners let's go down,
Down in the river to pray.

As I went down in the river to pray
Studying about that good old way
And who shall wear the robe and crown
Good Lord, show me the way!