So I went to dinner with Josh today. Yeah, isn't that crazy?! Let me tell you how it panned out, because I think this is an experience that...will be or has been really valuable to my life.

I nearly didn't go to the Dex today. I woke up from my nap and really wasn't in the mood to walk down there--or do anything. :P So I waited. Played FreeCell. Played Minesweeper. Kept glancing at the clock, like, "Well...Maybe now I should go. Ah... Maybe now." I woke up at 6:30; the Dex closes at 7:30 on Sunday nights. At 7:21 I finally said, "Well. I better go eat or I'll be starving later tonight." So I got my keys and headed out the door.

As I neared to the top of the pathway from Corlett to the Dex, I saw Josh. "Hey!" I greeted him once I recognized him. "It's you! How are you?" He said "Good" or something. Usually passing greetings end right there on this campus. You say "Good" and move on. But I felt compelled to keep the lines of communication open between me and him, if he was going to be my TWIRP date (which, LOL, still is not a for sure thing except in my own head :) ). So I asked him, "Is the Dex open still?"

"No, actually, I just came from there. They were closed."

"Oh," I said, making a face. No dinner for me tonight. But at least I had an opportunity to talk to Josh more. He lives in Olsen, which is right next to Corlett, so we walked back together and talked. When we got to the spot where the paths split, we stopped for a bit and he asked, "So, do you think you'll be hungry later tonight?"

I knew right then that he was asking me out and, boy, was I glad. It's so nice when you can just tell and there's not all this ambiguity and doubt tangled up in the voice of the person asking you out. "Um, yeah, I'll probably be hungry." I laughed, "I mean, I didn't get dinner, obviously."

"Yeah, I'll probably... Go out and grab something. If you want to join me..." It wasn't really as awkward as I just made it sound.

"Um, okay," I agreed nonchalantly. It was so easy to be nonchalant. The whole thing was just casual, and it was soooooooo nice. Things were constantly awkward with Nate and I. If things are constantly awkward, something's wrong. And this wasn't like that at all.

Anyway, so he asked if I had a cell phone number. I had to tell him yeah, but it was just for emergencies. He seemed to think that was kind of weird, but accepted it. He gave me his number and asked for my extension. The conclusion was that I would call him in about an hour while he did homework or whatever, and we'd decide then where we wanted to go and stuff.

All right, so fast forward. The date was fine. It was casual. It was nonchalant. It was perfect, in the sense that I felt that that's how dating should be. I mentioned awkwardness a moment ago. I experienced that in the entire (and I'm not exaggerating) year-and-a-half that I dated Nate, tried to break up with him, and tried to get over him. My mom was saying all along that dating shouldn't be like that--shouldn't be so serious. And since then I've...sort of felt condemned by my first relationship to always have awkward relationships. I don't know if that makes sense. I explained it better earlier to my roommate. Of course earlier I wasn't so tired and could think a bit more clearly. :) Anyway. So after two years of feeling like it was determined by fate or the gods or whatever that I would never be able to have a normal relationship, tonight was just so perfect. What's that phrase? I felt like this last two years' anxiety over dating has finally completely circled around and I can finally start over. Having one date that was a real date where we talked about shallower things and the whole atmosphere was nonchalance (calm, balance, ease...I can't find a good synonym) makes me feel as if I've healed completely. I'm not a complete failure at dating and romantic relationships. And what a good feeling it is!

I don't think anything will happen with Josh. I really don't. I don't think we have enough in common, and I don't think he's that interested in me. I'm not particularly interested in him, either. I think tonight was what it's supposed to be: a get-to-know-you, see-if-we-click date. And I think, as I said earlier, it's a valuable lesson that perhaps God wanted to teach me. I wonder why He waited two years... What is it about now that He's said, Okay, let's heal Stephanie today? Maybe I'll learn later; it usually goes that way. :)

All righty. Off to bed with me. I'm soooooo tired.

OH! One more piece of good news! LIZ ASKED ME TO BE HER BRIDESMAID TODAY!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm going to be in my first wedding!!!!!!!!!!!! And it's the wedding of my best friend!!!!!!! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYY!!!!!!! :D :D :D :D :D :D :D <---because one grinny face is NOT enough! :D :D :D I'm so happy. Today has been a splendiferous day. :D :D I hope this is God's way of setting me up for a good week...

Love y'all! Good night!
Stephanie

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