I've regained some of my sanity since yesterday's entry. After I got home from writing that entry, trying to get my mind away from all the worries pressing my mind, I went and played the piano for a while. It was something new, so I had to concentrate on it a lot. Concentrating on the piece and only the piece made me forget Logan for a while, and about halfway through the piece, at a nice, peaceful part, I remembered him again, and it hit me, How stupid I acted today... It's highly unlikely that he likes me for real; that was probably half imaginantion and half wishful thinking. And I must've looked like a complete dork, staring at him off and on through class... How embarrassing!!

So reality hit me, and now that passion or desire or whatever you want to call it has died down a little. Thank goodness... I really was afraid I was going to go crazy. I guess God finally decided it was time to knock me upside the head, like I asked. :)

So I was thinking earlier today, and yesterday, in a whole new light of what Monday'll be like. Oh, of course, I'll just go up and ask him if I can sign his! Duh. Like any normal person. Gosh, the things I was imagining! I was really calm about it. It was nice being sane again! LOL.

But now I'm starting to worry again. It won't be just like any other guy, because he's not like the average guy! Like I said in yesterday's entry, he waits for people to come to him. That changes everything! If he was a regular, outgoing guy like the one that sits behind me in jazz choir, then I could go up to him and ask to sign his book without any trouble at all! It's so much easier to go up to outgoing people, that they probably don't think anything of it. And I'd just relish in the glory that I'd gotten the signature of the boy I liked. :) But quiet people.... I know. If a guy came up to me that I didn't know very well, and asked to sign my yearbook--well, not that anyone would do that--but if they did--I'd get instantly suspicious. It's hard to approach quiet people and if you make a lot of effort to do so...Wouldn't that look a little weird??

Ugh. Is this making any sense to you? I hope it is... I'm so terrible at explaining myself in emotional states like this. :P

Anyway, so I'm worried again. I need another knock on the head. I'll keep praying. :)

-Stephanie