Wow. What an interesting day.

Well, it wasn't that interesting. But interesting nonetheless. And I haven't written in a while, so I feel like doing so.

Today Josh helped me replace my front license plate. I didn't have a wrench small enough; luckily he did. So I got to see his apartment and spend some time with him. It wasn't awkward, or at least not too bad. Last few weeks or so it's been a little awkward, or felt like it to me, rather, which makes me uncomfortable, which probably made him uncomfortable. I don't want to lead him on... I just want to be friends right now.

I told Ryan I hadn't come to a conclusion yet as to whether I wanted to hang out with him sometime. That was probably a stupid way to put it. My main point was just that I didn't want it to be some deep, theological discussion time. As I put in my Facebook notes, "The world is too much with us," and I'm kind of weary of dwelling on it at the moment. The next couple weeks are going to be hard enough as it is.

Um. Anyway. I'm running on tangents. It was cool spending time with Josh without any awkwardness. And one of these days I'm going to hang out with Ryan, but for some reason I feel like I shouldn't yet. He's still recovering from a breakup... I don't want to be his rebound. :/

If you asked me to describe in colors where I am right now in the world of romance, I'd say a dusty rose kind of place--like it should be a pure pink hue, but instead it's veiled by gray. For some reason God's keeping a veil over my eyes as far as where I should go/what I should do next.

Mm, I'm getting tangential again. ::sigh:: I look too hard.

The other interesting thing about today was that I got to watch my cousin for a couple of hours here at college. :) My aunt who teaches here had something that ran late, I guess; I don't know what. It's only for today and tomorrow, though. She asked me to pick up AleAnn from the rec center, where she participates in Kids in Action. So I picked up my little cousin (she's not really that little anymore, but she's 12 years younger than me, so that's how I always refer to her) from the rec center and took her to my apartment, which she'd never seen before. She played with the word magnets on the fridge. A word lover! My kind of girl! :D But the poor thing really doesn't have a lot of choice. Both her parents and her grandparents (my grandparents) are teachers, and I am going to be a teacher. She's pretty much surrounded, LOL.

After that we went and ate dinner at the Dex. My aunt said she was totally excited, but she didn't seem that excited. We sat with a few girls I knew...who left us shortly afterward. :( I felt bad, but only for AleAnn. She wanted to be among the college students, and I wasn't doing a very good job of putting her there. Maybe tomorrow it'll go better. Maybe I'll sit with Josh. He'd be intrigued by the fact that I was toting an 8-year-old with me, LOL.

AleAnn is very well-behaved in public. She is an only child, and her mom and dad had her rather late, so she's grown up in a pretty adult world. And then she hangs out with me... Good heavens, how can she help being an adult? I am so inexperienced with young kids. My memory didn't even kick in till I had reached junior high.

That's just a little joke I tell about myself. I can't remember much of ANYTHING before 7th grade, seriously. It's terrible. :P 7th grade is when I finally pulled my head out of the books and actually started paying attention to the world.

A-ny-way. I am tired.

Now an old chain letter for purposes of vagueness before I m'endormis:

It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you figure out which one it is, you will know what to do for each person.

When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend, and they are!

They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrongdoing on your part, or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered. And now it is time to move on.

Then people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn. They bring you an experience of peace, or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons: things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person, and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.

Link: Reason, Season or Lifetime

-Stephanie