I AM
Jill Phillips

Oh, gently lay your head
Upon my chest
And I will comfort you
Like a mother while you rest
The tide can change so fast,
But I will stay
The same through the past,
The same in future, same today

I am constant; I am near
I am peace that shatters all your secret fears
I am holy; I am wise
I'm the only one who knows your heart's desires
Your heart's desires

Oh weary, tired and worn,
Let out your sighs
And drop that heavy load you hold
'Cause Mine is light

I know you through and through;
There's no need to hide
I want to show you love
That is deep and high and wide

I am constant; I am near
I am peace that shatters all your secret fears
I am holy; I am wise
I'm the only one who knows your heart's desires
Your heart's desires

Oh, gently lay your head
Upon my chest
And I will comfort you
Like a mother while you rest

Dear Nate,

I don't know what this song and this drawing have in common, but I just feel like I should put them together tonight. You walk away. The chains loosen and break, freeing me. But I turn my head, and sadness tugs at the corners of my mouth. Is leaving you the right thing to do?

I was your comfort and rest, your peace and wisdom. I was your crutch when you couldn't walk. (Remember that?) I was your love, your life, your all.

Sometimes I look back and wish I hadn't left. I was good for you. I wasn't bad. And that feels like a reason to stay.

But I know I did the right thing. That's what this picture portrays. Despite the look back, I know my direction. I look over my shoulder as a last goodbye.

I drew this when I felt the first fresh breath of freedom from that tangled web we wove. June 28, 2005. It had been a full year.

I think there are still some cobwebs of chains on my shoulders, my friend. Perhaps a veil. But it isn't covering my face anymore; it might be just draped a little in my hair, still remembering how much you loved it.

I hope, friend, that you will reach the place one day where God will be Who He wants to be in your life: the One you can truly find comfort and peace from, rest in, and seek wisdom from. He wants to be that for you, Nate, and I pray one day you will be strong in Him. He loves you so much.

Love in Christ,
Stephanie

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