Dancing was SO much fun this week!! I meant to write last night, but got caught up in other things and was too tired by the end to do so... But I had a blast. Got things cleared up with Stephen... That poor guy; I still feel horrible for last week... I think I'm going to delete that entry, in fact. I'd rather it be erased from memory.

But anyway, this week was so much better. I was calm enough to explain what exactly went on last week and he was forgiving. :) I guess after a week the high emotions have died down enough to talk calmly. It also helped that I wrote a letter out to him in order to get my feelings...uh...in order. I'm so much more articulate when I write than when I talk.

So after explaining things and it getting just slightly awkward at one moment, I was able to gently divert the conversation to other topics, and we were fine the rest of the night. Yay! I hate it when I screw things up like I did with him. Like I do with most guys, apparently. :S Too many conjectures and not enough being real. But being real then incorporates being serious, and God knows what happens when things get too serious.

Stephen still asks me to dance whenever he finds me sitting out. :)

All this sudden attention. What is this shy green shoot to do? I enjoy it very much, of course, but I honestly am completely at sea when it comes to what to do about it.

Last night--funny, slightly scary story--I went outside for a break and this guy...must've been in his late 50s...started talking to me. It's very easy to talk to people in this dancing environment. Everyone is so comfortable with each other. We talked about dancing, mostly. I mentioned Squire's flips last week that I hated, because I felt so clumsy and awkward and heavy and a number of other things. He talked about how you need real instruction to do that, and I agreed wholeheartedly. I asked him how long he'd been dancing, and he laughed and said, "Longer than you've been alive." We also talked about good dancers and bad dancers and how you tell the difference. We cooled off and when we were ready to go back in, he said, "Well, would you like to dance?" I said sure and in we went.

As we danced, I did my best to learn from this man who had a lot of experience and probably knew very well what he was doing. I felt a little embarrassed because I am so new, and looked at my feet a lot. "Look at me," he said, quite sharply. I did, half out of fear and half out of a desire to learn and do well. He did know what he was doing. His leads were good. Quite clean-cut/distinct. At one point I saw Stephen drift by, looking at me. I smiled at him and said to the man I was dancing with (can't remember his name), "You've taken me away from my usual dancing partner."

"That's good," he said. "It's good to dance with different people."

"Yeah, I agree," I said. I get tired of always dancing with Stephen sometimes, though I enjoy his company.

The song ended--we had only caught the last minute and a half or so of it--and the man said his thanks and let me go. Stephen, of course, immediately asked me to the next one, and I agreed.

As we danced, I think I said, about my last partner, "He's a good partner," with all the innocent trust my sheltered upbringing has created in me. Stephen made some remark that sounded slightly sarcastic and I, surprised at his tone, said, "No, he really is! He said he's been dancing for longer than I've been alive. And he knew what he was doing..."

"Let's just say he has a reputation," Stephen said, quite taking me aback. "One girl said that when he was dancing with her, he told her to look at him, and when she didn't, he grabbed her face with his hand and turned it to him."

I got a really eerie, creepy feeling all over, remembering the man's sharp command to me. If I had danced longer with him..., I wondered, leaving the thought unfinished. "I guess I'll be careful, then," I said after a moment, still trying to shake the creepy feeling, while simultaneously conjuring up the situation in my mind to think about what I would say and do if the man ever did something to me that I was uncomfortable with. I was glad at that moment to be safe dancing with Stephen.

On a lighter note, Squire... Good grief. That guy will tease me and torment me to no end. He reminds me of little boys on the playground putting frogs down girls' backs and crickets in their lunchboxes. He gets an absolute kick out of seeing me turn red and speechless. He reminds me also of Matt from the Dex (school cafeteria), who has the most sarcastic sense of humor ever. He throws ridiculous insults at every single person that walks through his line. It took me a long time to get used to him and realize that this is his sense of humor, and he doesn't mean a single word of it. :) Squire doesn't insult me, just makes fun of me, and, just like Matt, torments me (and girls like me) in particular because he knows most of the time I can't think of any comebacks and just turn red and speechless. :P LOL. I'll get used to him eventually. But heaven help me while I get there! :D

"I gotta hand it to you, though," I said once to him last night, "You are hilarious." I can't even remember what he said, but it really made me laugh. I think he then twisted my comment into something else completely different from what I meant (out of humor) and continued with his barrage of tormenting remarks. ::rolls eyes:: Boys.

His barraging me started, actually, with a remark I totally should not have made at the very, very beginning of the night. Squire first observed, "You're not wearing pants tonight. I can't flip you around!"

"I know," I said instantly, honest as I am, and just as instantly realized I shouldn't have said it quite that fast...

"What's that supposed to mean???" he said, and the peace of the night was lost. :)

Two final stories (this is fun!) and then I'll end this forever-long entry. :) Last week or the week before I danced with a tall Middle Eastern man. He's quite talkative and a fairly good dancer, which makes it quite fun. He doesn't quite understand that though I live in one state, I go away to college in another. :D I enjoyed dancing with him that week and was delighted when he asked me to dance this week.

He chatted at me like an old friend and then said, "You look familiar." It was all I could do to keep from laughing too much at him. :) "Yes, we danced a couple weeks ago," I said. "You're..." I had to think for a moment before his name came to me! "Girish! Right?"

The look of astonishment on his face was priceless. :D "How you remember my name so well??" he asked in his fairly good, but still a little broken English. That time I really did laugh. :) "I have to try really hard," I told him honestly. "I do okay, but I have to make a point of remembering names."

"You much better than me," Girish said. "What was your name again?"

Marty, Girish, Christian, Stephen, Paul, Squire, Jerome, Siesel, and Tyler are the names I have really learned so far. It is SO HARD. Sometimes I'm dancing with a guy and he'll introduce himself to me (or re-introduce himself to me!) and I know instantly that there is no way on earth I am going to remember it. They're usually very ordinary names on very ordinary faces. Sometimes I'll remember the face and not the name, sometimes it's the other way around. But I'll get it eventually.

So, my final story. Was actually going to be on how I dressed. :) I wore a khaki skirt and a T-shirt the first day I danced. I wore a black tank top and blue jeans the second day I danced. This week I felt like dressing up. I wore glittery black shoes, with a black skirt and a bright pink shirt with a black shrug over it, and I put my hair up in a claw, which I happen to know is quite flattering on me. :) No one really commented, actually, except Stephen and, of course, Melanie. Melanie said I looked very cute and classy, which is what I was going for.

The shoes actually had to go within the first half hour. They were flats made of hard plastic, not cloth/fabric like my regular dancing shoes, and they rubbed my poor heels raw. I have two big blisters as evidence, right where the back of the shoe hits my skin.

When I walked into the room, though, I felt as if all eyes turned on me. In a good way, not a way that made me panic, like usually happens. :D I felt glamorous and sexy, I guess... Glasses and all. LOL. Ah, those old things. They'll have to be replaced by contacts eventually. I love looking intelligent, but it's beauty, not intelligence, that is the first attraction. So when a guy finds out I'm pretty and intelligent..... That's the stuff that dreams are made of. :)

We were late and everyone was in partners already, so I didn't join the circle right away. I sat down at the table with Melanie and Aaron and gazed on in pure delight of just sitting there, feeling like...a jewel or something.

And Stephen? He stared. :) Blush!! I'm sure that made me as pink as my shirt, but it wasn't unpleasant! Heehee.

After a few minutes, I caught him gesturing out of the corner of my eye. "Stand here!" he mouthed, pointing to the empty spot to his right. The guys were rotating around the circle for tonight's lesson.

Totally pleased, I dipped my head and carried myself there, not even caring that I was standing alone, because I knew I wouldn't be for very long.

Aaron, gentleman that he is, came and took me as his partner in the circle. (Aaron and Melanie are the couple who take me to the dancing.) Leads rotated and the night was off to a great start. With the exception of Squire's tormenting me, of course. :D

Somewhere toward the middle of the evening, Stephen was dancing with me and said, "I must say, you look astoundingly pretty tonight."

I laughed, said thank you, and we danced away.

Awwwwwww.

I love good stories. :D

-Stephanie

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