That was so embarrassing!! Oh, heavens, will I ever be able to forgive myself?! I'm such an idiot!!

I am so stupid. And too embarrassed right now to say what I'm stupid about.

SO! End of entry. For now.

-Stephanie

I'm back. Now for that story.

When I got to the library, Mrs. H gave me some things to deliver to kids. One thing was a book that went to a girl in who I had just been with in jazz choir. Didn�t she stay after to talk to Mr. D? I thought to myself. So she probably is just now walking through the halls to her class. Maybe I�ll catch her in the halls. So I started off. And as I entered the freshman hall, sure enough, there she was up ahead of me.

Walking by Logan.

Oh my goodness! How am I going to do this? Shall I risk it and call her?? He�d notice me. He�d get to hear me talk for once.

I decided to do something I don�t normally do and be spontaneous. I called for her there in the hall. If only she�ll hear me!

So I called her first name. No response. Again. Still didn�t hear me. I called her first and last name. Still didn�t hear me! So I stepped WAAAY out of my comfort zone, and actually WENT UP TO HER (reminder, she was right beside Logan!), and tapped her on the shoulder, once more saying her name.

That crazy fille!! She still didn�t realize I was yelling for her! And there I was, RIGHT NEXT to Logan, making a COMPLETE idiot out of myself!! Ohh, I�m not gonna forget this one for a LONG time.

Logan turned off into his classroom.

I tapped her shoulder again. Finally she turned around to me, and I pushed the book toward her, mumbling, �Save me a trip...�, which I�d planned to say from the start.

�Ohhh!! Thank you!!� she exclaimed, and I seriously thought she was going to hug me for a minute. Guess the book was important.

I was just glad it was over with.

I felt like such a fool.

Poor Logan... That�s all I can think of. Why, oh, why must this go on so?! You�d have to know how the last two days have gone in order to understand that. But just know that he�s *somehow* been seeing quite a lot of me lately, and I am starting to feel that he�s maybe thinking I�m stalking him or something. Goodness. That poor, poor guy.

LOL! You should see what I wrote yesterday in my diary. Yesterday was a good �Logan-day.� In fact, I�m gonna go get that and bring it over here.

...I laughed again and confessed with amazing steadiness, �It�s perfectly normal for a girl to want to be near the guy she likes more!�

-----�s eyes lit up as she laughed, �Oh-ho-ho! Who is it?�

I looked down in brief timidness. �His name�s Logan.�

�Oh! Still?� ----- asked, and I remembered the girls� sleepover.

I nodded and said, to my great shock (and hers, too, I imagine), �He�s really cute!!�

Immediately I re-felt the pang, Man... This attraction is so physical! I wish it were more [than that]. Well, it�s a little more, but not enough more. I almost wish he weren�t so handsome. Ooh, I like that word!

Sorry!! Goodness, I�m sorry! I�m going insane here.

That is a very nice word, though. �Cute� is way too overused. :p

And, anyway, it fits him perfectly.

�Ohhh! That reminds me of something else of today! Hoooooly cow!!�

...And we�re back to the physical junk. :/

Now, where was I? Oh, yes. I almost wish he weren�t so handsome. It would make it a lot easier to like him for who he is than for the face God gave him.

Although half of what makes him so cute IS who he is... He�s pretty easy-going/laid-back. That shows in his awesome smile. He�s serious and gentle. That shows in his eyes. He is d-e-f-i-n-i-t-e-l-y more mature than most other guys his age! That kind of shows itself in every part of his appearance, because it�s so much a part of him.

(End regular diary entry.)

So, about that other thing. Actually, I�d rather write that in my regular diary/journal first. Hold on.

Okay. One last story, then I'll cut this extremely long entry off. :)

Today in jazz choir we sang in circle again. On time when I looked up, I saw Logan and had to do a double-take. He had his glasses raised onto his forehead. Weird.... But I know he never keeps his glasses clean, so maybe he needed to raise them to see the music. LOL!

I just kept looking at him, since his head was down and I could take the liberty. And then he looked up. Glasses still off.

Ohhhhhh my gosh.

I never use this word this way. But what came to my mind was the metaphoric use of the word "HOT"!

Holy COW, he looks good without his glasses on!!

He is seriously good-looking.

And that is a great phrase! :D

-Stephanie