Today is a hate-life day. I am exhausted.

I was on the phone with Stephen until 12:30 last night. I didn't get to bed until one. I slept restlessly. At 7 a.m. my alarm went off. I could barely open my eyes. I slept in another 10 minutes, which wasn't nearly enough. My head was foggy and my movements were sluggish as I got ready for class--in the dark but somehow I still got done in 45 minutes. I struggled to stay awake through my first two classes of the day and at 11:00 instead of going to lunch, I went straight back to my apartment to take a good, solid nap. I came into my room where Tannis was doing something on her computer under her bed (our rooms are too small for desks) and asked me bright and cheerfully, "How was your morning?"

I felt like saying something really bad.

Instead I gathered up the last remnants of strength I had and said, "It was okay." I dropped my backpack, purse, sweater, scarf, gloves and keys on the floor, doing my best to keep it on my side of the room for the sanity of my roommate, and climbed up into my bed, flopped under the covers, buried my head under my pillow and attempted to go to sleep.

Oh, I forgot to set my alarm.

I set it to 12:00 so I'll have time to get lunch and go to my 12:30 class.

I can't get to sleep because my mind is being plagued by terrors of Tannis's wrath for not giving her a kinder, more human response to her irritating question.

I look for my earplugs, which help me block out not only sound but thought. I find only one, but one is all I need. I turn my head to the side and put the one earplug in which blocks out the sound of Tannis's typing and the thought of her hating me for the rest of my life because I didn't act very nicely to her.

I sleep restlessly for an hour.

My alarm wakes me up for the second time today. It's been going off for about a minute and has gotten to three very loud beeps instead of the inital one softer beep. It's been a long time since the one softer beep hasn't woken me up.

I drag myself out of bed, put on my sweater, and my scarf, and my gloves, and my glasses, switch textbooks in my backpack, pick up my purse and keys, sling on my backpack, and head out my bedroom door again. Tannis is downstairs on the couch. I don't say anything to her.

I climb back into my car and drive the .3 miles to the Student Center. The Dex is blissfully empty even though it's about noon and I choose a table close to the entryway by myself. There aren't any brownies today but I grab an overbaked chocolate chip cookie and a glass of milk. I eat Mexican today--a quesadilla and the college student's version of arroz y leche. I head for class at 12:30, but stop by my mailbox first to pick up one of my last few textbooks that are still coming in. I stick it in my backpack without opening it, knowing by its weight and size that it is Gilead. That came fast.

Next is Major Authors of British Literature. It is quite fun; I'm getting into "Mansfield Park"--in quotations because this is an almost strictly movie-only class. I make a new friend during the group activity of the day and meet the goth son of one of the psychology professors here, and tell him my aunt is also a psychology professor here. Two very different people connected to each other in the oddest of ways.

After class I have one hour to go to Wal-Mart and pick up essentials like facewash, shampoo and windshield wiper fluid--oh, and chocolate. I'm going to need it once this day finally ends.

I make it back to campus just in time to put windshield-wiper fluid in my car and go to choir. Choir doesn't alleviate the long day; Dr. Marlett is having a crazy day as well and instead of teaching class the normal way, has us split into parts and try to teach ourselves a little. I have to share my music with Eloise and Aubrey again. I really wish I sat next to Heather and Kendra or Lindsay and Mandi.

After choir I return to my apartment, hoping to see Tannis's car gone, meaning she's at work and I have the rest of the afternoon to myself. Her car is still there and she is upstairs asleep. I too-noisily put away my Wal-Mart goods and then hurry downstairs to the refuge of the empty living room, open my laptop, and start typing.

I have one more class today. It starts at 8 p.m. and I have no idea how long it's going to go. Afterwards I'll be talking to Stephen again.

I desperately need some rest.

-Stephanie

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