Dear God,

What do I do with my sister? She�s depressed again.
The deal is that I don�t understand her at all. She�s the most inscrutable person, for as much as she talks about herself. At least when I talk about myself it�s instructive and lets people know how to deal with me.

I keep comparing myself to her and putting myself up as a better person than she is. God, I know that isn�t true. Sam is just as good a person as me. She just has a lot of problems. A lot of problems. And no one here can help her.

Would she accept help if it were offered?

I keep wanting to write my dad and say DEAL WITH YOUR DAUGHTER. The rest of us are at our wits� end trying to figure her out. She�s not being difficult in the way of picking fights with us all the time. She�s just difficult in general: she�s depressed again, like I said.

I wish I were strong enough to inquire further into who she is. I say I�m not strong enough because I feel as if the moment someone started to try and get close to her, spikes would grow out of her head and her nails would lengthen into death claws and her eyes would blaze out fire. She just doesn�t want people to get close to her. And I�m never going to understand that. I can�t live without people close to me. And neither can she. She gets depressed every time she pushes someone away. She�s just scared to death.

The nutty part is I know that and I still can�t get up the courage to do anything about it. I am honestly afraid of those spikes of hers.

I wonder why I always feel as if it�s my job to do this, to reach out to her or whatever. It doesn�t necessarily have to be my job.

Wait a second... It isn�t my job. You, God, are the one big enough to understand her. You created her, too, and know exactly why she is the way she is. I stopped praying for her a long time ago, God. I guess I�ll start again. Maybe it�ll do something this time.

Lord God, my family's prayed for a long, long time for my sister. I think we need to start praying for her again, in a different way. I don't pray that you'll magically turn her into someone she isn't--someone more like us. I pray that you would help us accept her for her own personality. I pray that you would try to break down all these barriers and walls she has put up (and I know we have helped her put the bricks in) and I pray that you would cause us all to see how the ways we have treated her have added to her barriers and walls. Instead of helping her wrap herself up further in barbed wire, I pray that you would help us to unwrap her. Lord...Let her find someone to trust.

Please instill us with courage, Lord. Help us to not give up hope. Help us to not despair of helping her. Strengthen us, O Lord.

In Jesus� name I pray,
Amen.

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