I can't believe how much I've been through in the last week.

Stephen and I had a huge fight on Tuesday, after our other fight on Sunday. I don't feel like saying what it was about, but we both got really, really, really hurt and finally seriously considered postponing the wedding. (The idea has been floating in our heads for weeks.) Neither of us wanted that, but it finally seemed like the only choice.

We didn't talk or see each other Wednesday. I think we both started to prepare for the idea that we might not be getting married at all. Thursday night I reluctantly drove down to his place before counseling, which we had already scheduled the week before. We were together for about 2 hours before counseling, and finally managed to talk about some of the hurts from Tuesday a little more maturely. By a miracle of God, we started to work things out. Then we went to counseling, which helped...so much. There isn't a word or phrase for it. I guess I've never, ever felt the hand of God moving so strongly in my life.

We finally decided that we are still going to get married. And we are still going to get married on the 4th.

Thank God.

As we drove home from counseling, I think we were both still very shell-shocked. I could not get myself to believe that we were still getting married. Today I think I believe it, but I don't understand how God fixed something so completely and utterly broken. And after breaking so many times, I'm still not convinced we're completely fixed. I have to keep reminding myself to trust God and to trust Stephen. Or at least trust God.

I need to get back to wedding planning. Thank you to anyone who has been praying for us, we REALLY appreciate it. Your prayers have probably made more difference than you know.

-Stephanie

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