Stephanie is nervous as HECK.

My sister is back from boot camp. Yeah, I know, wow! That three months flew by. She graduated PFC but will be Lance Corporal in a few weeks when her superiors sign a couple recruits under her.

She's different for sure. I'm not even sure how all she is different because I only got to see her on Sunday for a few hours. It told me a lot, but not enough. I'm going up to the house today to help her sort through all her old clothes and makeup and junk and to talk to her. 'Cause I need to talk to her. I need to have a concrete idea of who she is now so I can relate to her and not live my life in confusion and stress. That's why I'm nervous.

I'm making huge efforts to spend time with her, which I've never done before. I'm going to have to try and explain it to her, because she probably wonders what the heck is up. In the past, her family has only made huge efforts to spend time with her in order to change her, which has never gone over well--but this time I want to be the one who is changed. I need to know who she is now so I can relate to her differently. And I want to tell her that.

More on how she's different later, maybe. I've been trying so hard to see it in my head given only the 4 hours on Sunday of time with her, and I really, really, really need to give myself a break until I can actually see her again, because these conjectures and suppositions are breaking my head open with their lack of concrete evidence. It's not certain till it's certain, you know. So I gotta give myself a break, but I will try to update when things are a bit clearer.

-Stephanie

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