God told me the saddest news I've ever heard Saturday night. He told me that... my boyfriend and I won't be together much longer. He (God) didn't give me a specific date... Just said, "Soon." I cried about it Saturday, Sunday, and then today as well, this time actually in front of my boyfriend. He probably never really realized how much it's been hurting me till today.

I drew a picture of my feelings in art today. It's a heart, with yellow flames flickering out from the top. All this is covered by a giant teardrop. Through the teardrop you can see something that looks like a seedling.

The heart is my own. The flames are my prayers going up to God. The tear represent my sadness. The seedling... represents hope, sort of.

Underneath the drawing, I wrote, "Water and light make a flower grow." And then, as a reminder to myself, I tagged on at the very bottom of the page Philippians 4:6: "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God."

I showed this to my boyfriend and explained it a little. I had another page stapled on the back; he looked at that, too. It was just an unfinished drawing of an angel catching a boy falling, with Psalm 91:11 underneath it ("He will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways"). But on the back of the angel drawing was a prayer I wrote in art today. "What's this?" he asked me.

"A prayer," I answered simply.

"Is it a sad prayer?" he asked, catching a certain note in my voice.

I nodded, biting my lower lip. That didn't prevent the tears from coming, though. All of a sudden I was crying on his shoulder... I don't think I've ever done that before... I'd cried over the phone to him a couple times, but never in front of him.

I made him really late to his class. He'll probably get detention again... I just hope he can explain a little so Mr. A understands why he was late. I don't think it's right for kids to get detention for being late if they were comforting someone who was crying.

Anyway. The main thing he said to me to comfort me was, "It'll all work out in the end." Granted, that's something anyone could say, and it wouldn't have helped me if it hadn't reminded me of Romans 8:28, the basis for the 828 in my username: "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him." That's been my key verse for a long time. Nowadays it's more Proverbs 3:5-6, but both help me.

What was the last thing I was going to write? Oh yeah. The funny (funny-interesting) thing about me leaning against him and crying on his shoulder is that the last few days--okay, the last few weeks, on and off--he has been stressing that he has to lean on me for support in a million ways, but I can't lean on him for anything. I guess his prayers (and mine) have finally been answered. How exactly God will use that to help, I don't know, but I can bet He knows how and will do it.

A song that has been going through my mind concerning this issue:

If you need a pillow for your sorrow
If you need a blanket for your soul
If you need a place your broken heart can be made whole
He�ll be your strength to face tomorrow
And when the night seems dark and cold
Fall into the arms that won�t let go
Fall in to the arms that won�t let go

-Stephanie